Gruber
by Blasberg
Summary: Lt Gruber is posted in Nouvion to report back to the big guns back in Berlin. Whilst there he has fallen deeply in love with someone but-under obligation-can't express it. Can he ignore his superior's orders for love?
1. Chapter I

_Disclaimer: I don't own Allo Allo it belongs to Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft. _

"More wine for the Colonel, Yvette!" Rene's booming voice called across the café.

"Rene, sit down," beckoned Colonel von Strohm." I want to talk to you about the you-know-what-"

"The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by van Klomp," offered Hans.

"Hans, you fool! Will you never learn to take a hint? We may be overheard!" squealed the sputtering Colonel.

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I couldn't help it. That wine has done riddles with my head." Hans inserted a finger into his ear and wiggled as though that would clear his head.

"Now, Rene, we are under close surveillance. We must be very careful. Not only is Herr Flick looking for the painting but General von Klinkerhoffen has ordered Lt. Gruber to search for it also."

"What does he want with it?" asked the bewildered café owner.

"He probably wants to make a copy of it to send to Hitler and sell the original after the War. Just like you, Colonel." Hans volunteered.

"Everyone who knows about it has the same idea in mind, Rene. That painting is very valuable." The Colonel replied."Now, I want you to brick it up in your cellar."

"But if it is found on my property I would be shot! Could you not find a little niche in your building and brick it up there" Rene had already begun to sweat which was usual when he was being given the responsibility for something for which he could end up being shot.

"No. It must be here. If it is found on my property, I would be demoted out of the German army. In one go, Hitler could make me a peasant and I would be shot. What would happen to my wife and children? Better you than me." The Colonel seemed to be rationalising the plan out loud for his personal clarity.

"Well in that case, Colonel, we are running very low on butter, sugar, paraffin and chocolate. We have a business to run, you see and rations are very hard to come by these days. There is a war on, you know." Rene was quick to add.

"Very well. "The Colonel acquiesced. "Hans make a note of it. Now, Rene, my secretary, Helga, will be joining us shortly for dinner. What have your wife prepared?"

While Rene bustled off to the kitchen, he hadn't noticed that a lone man sitting at the bar sipping a cognac was closely observing the little rendezvous with the Colonel. He pulled out one of his cigars and lit it, still keeping an eye on the shifty Colonel who raised his hand to his hat when he saw the man looking at him.

Lt. Gruber was not happy about being obliged to be in the war. It was not suited to him to be blowing things up and going on secret missions all over Germany-occupied Europe. He wasn't the sort of man who complained, though and resolved to follow his superior's orders. In his mind, he hoped that if he fulfilled his requirements the sooner he would be back home. Nevertheless, it was very comfortable in Nouvion at the moment. He had everything a man of his rank wanted and he yet, personally, he wasn't fulfilled.

He had his eyes on a person. They had no idea. No one had any idea how hard it was to be around the one whom you intimately wish to be with and knowing it can't happen. Gruber sometimes, sat at the bar and envisioned the eventual circumstance where he and the apple of his eye could be together, undisturbed from the world.

It was difficult for him, because he couldn't be content with a fleeting encounter. He wanted more. Togetherness for eternity. Yet when there is a war raging around you, it felt selfish to be thinking of such things. Gruber was a man of duty and even though he must stifle his emotions in favour of his glorious country, he resolved to do so.


	2. Chapter II

**Gruber **

_Here is chapter two. It's a more serious, romantic version of Allo Allo focusing on mostly the Germans with little appearances of the__ French folk__._

**Chapter II**

Gruber was still sitting silently at the bar, deep in thought when a Nazi officer approached him. He bent down and whispered," I have orders from General von Klinkerhoffen. You are to meet with him immediately."

Gruber nodded once and downed the rest of his cognac. Paying the barmaid, he swiftly gathered his hat and coat and proceeded to leave. As he was passing the Colonel's table, the man raised his arm in a gesture of welcome. "Not going so soon, Gruber? Won't you join us for dinner, tonight? We could let our subconscious minds converse and wander on the state of the war."

Although, Gruber would have liked to stay, he politely declined the Colonel's offer citing that he needed to be up early the next morning for drills and had decided on an early night.

The Colonel seemed genuinely disappointed but Gruber would be a fool to merely assume the Colonel merely desired his presence for dinner. Especially since he had never done so before.

Colonel von Strohm was a cleverer man than he let on and Gruber had learned from those working in proximity to the Colonel that nothing he did was without a secondary motive. Whether those motives were sinister wasn't always clear.

Meanwhile, back at the café, the Colonel's brain was racing. He had noticed the Lieutenant quietly sitting at the bar, sipping his cognac but felt the man's eyes on him for the greater part of the evening. The Colonel, aware that he was being observed, decided to invite Gruber to dine with his company in the hope that he may unknowingly divulge something: such as why he had taken such an interest in the Colonel. Gruber's rejection to his invite only reinforced the Colonel's suspicion.

"Hans, did you notice Lt. Gruber this evening?" began the Colonel.

"Yes, he had his eye on you. I thought you didn't notice." Said Hans.

"I did notice. He's spying on me. I saw him watching with those beady little eyes. We all know to whom he's reporting. If he finds out about the painting or our other little nest eggs, he could make life difficult for us.

"Gruber? He doesn't look like that sort of man." Offered Helga. "He's quite nice, I think. Gave me a lift home, the other night."

"Helga! You've given me an idea!" the Colonel had a shrewd look in his eye and Helga only knew what he was thinking.

"Oh no, Colonel, we all know of Gruber's _manly_ leanings. There's no chance he would grow an interest in me even if I agreed to such a thing." Helga retorted.

"Helga, you are an exemplary figure of the ideal German woman. With your silken blonde hair and gentle blue eyes, you are the personification of the beauty of the Aryan race. The troops are wild for you. If anyone can do this, you can. Even a man like Gruber wouldn't be able to resist your luminescent beauty and charm." The Colonel himself hoped that his flowery words might make Helga agree to do what he was asking of her.

"Do you not think, Colonel, that if I incite his gallantry he might be inclined to be friendlier to me rather than trying to charm him. We could worm whatever we want out of him then. It's just that it seems so hopeless to assume that he may grow fond of me in _that _way." Helga went on.

"Very well, Helga. I have faith in you. Do as you see fit but don't let him become aware of what we're doing. Wait for an opportunity." With that they drank to their new scheme.


	3. Chapter III

When Gruber was announced into Klinkerhoffen's quarters, he found the General in a cozy ascot settling down for supper. General von Klinkerhoffen was a man clearly enjoying the perks of the job. He was a descendant of the Kaiser, himself and Gruber sometimes suspected that Klinkerhoffen felt as if it was owed to him to be living the life of a King in his conquered French chateau.

In Gruber's presence, the General's entire demeanour changed. No longer a stiff, dominating creature, he became more relaxed and placid. As he organised his place setting to his liking, he indicated for Gruber to take the empty seat across from him.

A fine spread lay before him. There was roast chicken, baked potatoes, bouillabaisse and a nice schwarzwalder kirsch torte for dessert. To drink there was a fine vintage wine, no doubt procured from the cellars of a peasant villager.

"How are you getting on, Hubert?" No one who knew the General would believe that he was capable of speaking in a voice that wasn't commanding someone to do something yet here he was.

Gruber, himself seemed to be a different person. His jovial bounce was gone, his eyes became more serious and his face relaxed ever so subtly to affect distinct change upon his features. "Apart from Colonel von Strohm plotting about the Fallen Madonna, the original of which he thinks he has, nothing much is happening. I will say it again. We are indeed lucky to be stationed here in Nouvion. Apart from fleeting bombing from the RAF and the French Resistance there is not much to deal with. Lately their attempts are so poor; I'm beginning to wonder at their resilience. Nevertheless, it will make life-and this war-all the easier for us." Gruber reported.

"Yes it will," the General agreed. "No one suspects your cover, I hope?"

"Not so far. I have played my part well." replied the Lieutenant.

"Gruber, I will never forget this sacrifice you are making for us. If your mother knew-"

"That should never happen!" Gruber brought a hand down hard on the table. "I will do what I can and more for my country but I cannot bear the thought of my mother hearing of dirty business such as this." Gruber was almost spitting in heat spewing from his ears in panic.

"Yes, I know. I suspect your she is even now shopping for a bride for you and counting down the days until you can return to see her. I know what a position it put you in but can you not see? I don't have another man whom I can trust with this plan. Haven't you been reading the paper? I don't see how you could have missed it anyway. What Stauffenberg and his crew tried to do. No one can be trusted."

"Yes. I read about it, General. I would not normally complain but there is very little to do. I have not seen the fruits of this act that I put on. To pretend to be smitten with the fat frog is the worst. I hear the troops talking, saying awful things about me."

"There is something else, I think" Klinkerhoffen narrowed his eyes and gazed at Gruber.

"Yes, General, I want to make myself known to Helga." Gruber's words left a ringing silence in the room.

"Helga…."

"Ja, Helga. Since the day I've been here I've been forced to snub her. I can't bear seeing her as that terrible man's puppet. He is using her. Filling her head with a fantastical aftermath to this war whilst using her to achieve his own dirty means. I would never ask the woman I love to tease and tantalise another man like he did."

"You love her." Said Klinkerhoffen quietly.

"I do." Gruber was never a man who shirked the truth.

"I'm very pleased with your choice, Gruber. And I'm sure your mother will agree. I have observed Helga. In my conclusion, I believe she is trustworthy and will consider letting her in on our plan. However, I also firmly believe that her being surrounded by twit Colonel and that ghastly Flick may have an influence on her. It is curious, though, much as I try to pin it down I can't figure out her true allegiance. She is assigned to von Strohm yet she seems to be loyal to Flick. Then again at times she seems discontent with that arrangement. It seems she's simply accepting the best she thinks she could find in these times." Klinkerhoffen brow furrowed as he contemplated the situation.

"Oh come now, anyone would be better than Flick!" Gruber exclaimed." I would rather her be with a common soldier than Flick if he treated her as she deserves."

The corners of Klinkerhoffen's mouth twisted into a frown. "I can see that you are genuine in your interest. I will allow her to be brought into our plan but it must be left to me. Do nothing, say nothing. We are in tricky waters at the moment with her. It is important that the process is gradual and that she realizes that any future with the idiots she's loyal to will bring ruination to her. I will tell you what move to make and when to make it. In the mean time, carry on as usual." The General then turned to his chicken as he surveyed it with relish,'' These French really do know their food."

Gruber gripped his fork as he said," I'm not worried, Uncle. I have complete faith in you."


End file.
